"Well, to be fair, we could just measure our vaginas."
"Like, with a dipstick?"
Amy, Mason

"It's so inconveneint when pandas come fuck your head."
"I know, always on their schedule, never on mine."
Amy, Mason

"So anyway, my day got a lot better after I realized you hadn't killed an infant."
Heather's Mom

"So Mason, What's going down?"
"Well, this is Amy. That's what's going down."
"Ba-duh-Bump!" *drumstick motion*
Jeff, Mason, Mattais

"His pocos are bigger than my pocos."
Mrs. Kossmann

"We should be proud of our weinies!!"
Dr. Pickett

"Stop looking at my food like it's UGLY."
Mason

"He didn't even say anything! He just kinda fingered me."
Laura

"You mean, you want me to shoot off in a pile of Coyote feces!?!?!??!"
Rolf

"I can do both of you at once...
"Sallie is really tight....
"Does that feel good? I've never done two people at once before...."
"I can hardy feel that."
"I'm sorry! I'm just afraid of hurting sallie, she's so tight....."
"ARE YOU USING AN APPLE?!?!"
"Do you have any bananas?"
3 of Rolf, Heather, Rolf, Heather, Rolf

"But babies don't ooze blue jam!"
Heather

"Are you ready to party party party?"
"Yes, but by the time you cube a party it's just kinda square"
-amu, erin

"It’s like a hug from your mommy. Except your mommy is your heroin dealer and she’s shooting drugs in your neck. But other than that… it’s like a hug from your mommy.”
-Megan

"Look, you are so stupid that people we don't even KNOW are laughing at you!!"
"It's the Hampton School of Self Esteem!"
Mom, Lucas (To me)

"I'll make Mason the dom, even if I have to whip him into submission!"
amu

"I see everyone as men!"
"Even Amy?"
"........yes........"
Mason, Heather

"I can't go to the bathroom because Heather is a slave driver and won't let me...."
Rolf

"I wish I had a guy, I wish I had a guy.... I wish I had a guy...."
Sallie, singing

"No, you are NOT going to put me in the microwave!!"
Heather

“It’s not a TRUE hike unless we are topless.” (Sexy yoga-on-cliff photographer guy glances up.)
Amy

"I saw a documentary where a child was trapped under an escalator.. it was really gross."
Rolf (not so much the quote that was funny- but the horrified stares from the two children next to us ^_^)

"It is REALLY hard to remember to pull up your pants sometimes..."
Heather

""When I close my eyes... I can't see you....!"
Naomi
(She and Kelley think along similar lines)

"Hey, it's sallie's boob."
"It doesn't SAY boob, you idiot. what are you talking about?"
Heather and Naomi

"Who's touching my foot? Is that my own butt?"
-Mason

"How wet is myyyyy butt!?!?!"
Sallie, bent over a cliff, looking back at heather and rolf- clutching her arse.

"That rock is floating down the river........."
Heather

"5 second rule."
DJ, on having sex with the dead.

"Now that's devotion. You know you have a good man when he'll suck blood from your neck with a straw."
-Jenny, GHS

"Foonerall.... I know it means something... but I can't remember...."
"oooh!!! Funeral!"
-Sallie, Heather

"I don't want to hear any more about pulsating hot dogs........."
Heather

"You're the breast Nazi!"
-Sallie, to Erin

"pencils go in pencil holders, babies go in trash bags. i wish people would just stop fighting the natural order of things!"
billy (quoted by amberly)

Quotes from the unwashed masses:

"Six legged crickets? They don't make those, do they?"


"There was a black and white bird in my backyard...."
"It was a penguin!"
"But penguins are pink!!!!!"


"(indignant) Why do we need to know basic information?!"


"What's an Oak?"

"Can I take the lid off? ::pauses, rips of lid::
No, it will cause a catas-(trips over dog)...trophe.....!!"
Sallie

"All males are my man-whores. SUBMIT!!!"
"..............to folio...?"
amu and the stupid

"well, i'm glad steven's a paternal gay!" - kelley

"I'm a hardcore blink182 fan."
Ryan
aren't oxymorons the best?

"Thats called maternal instinct. First you get that, then you start 'accidently' forgetting your birth control... and then... (gives look)"
"Oh my god, am I an accident?!!?"
Mom, Heather

"I have trouble with my accent when I get excited."
"Hell, I have trouble with your accent when I get excited."
Heather's Mom, Lucas

"I never want to get married, it seems so boring."
"It's funny, I was just saying that to your father earlier to day."
heather's family

"They've been left out for a while, so I don't think I want any genitals."
heather

"He's doubly scared of bloody breasts."
"...I would be too..."
Heather, awesome store guy at Maude V.